Happy now?

Sometimes this blog thing is hard. I know some people read it, so I feel obligated to make it more entertaining. I couldn't think of any good stories from my past to make it funny so I kind of just let it sit for awhile. Now I am just going to try and force myself to write something.

I recently reopened my site chaostatic.com. I had let it sit dormant for a number of years, I had just bored tired of the subject matter I guess. A few things happened over the last couple of months I guess that got me reinterested in putting the site back together and trying to update it. Probably a dumb idea since I have so many projects on my plate right now unfinished. I have been interested in the occult for about the last 16 years or so. I went through quite a few belief systems and schools of thought until I settled on the one I have been "following" for the last 12(?) years. If interested you can visit the link and look at some of my writings on the site to give you a better idea. I don't feel like rehashing it here... of course most of those texts are around 5 years old, or more, so I am sure it has evolved since then. I need to make a note to myself to revisit them. Hmm, I guess I will try to keep within this topic for the rest of the post.

When I was formulating this paradigm I was around 15 or 16. I was hanging out with one other kid that was interested in the subject and was actually very helpful in building it. None of our other friends really "got it", but went along with a lot of our ideas because it was fun I guess. My friend Carlos, who we all called Acid for some reason that I have since forgotten (probably had to do with drugs, music, something else or all of the above), lived in an apt. building that was connected to a funeral home that was abandoned. He was renting a room from some young couple who were the supers of the building. This of course gave us full access to the funeral home and we used this as our hangout spot pretty much exclusively. Some real crazy shit went down there and I am sure some of those stories will show up in later entries. This place was great. Scary as fucking hell at times, but great nonetheless. There was one large room where I am assuming the viewings used to be held, off of that there were 3 other rooms in varying sizes. Probably offices... maybe a coffin showroom or two, I don't really know. The creepy part came down stairs. There were these 3 rooms downstairs. One was obviously where they stored and worked on the bodies. That room always gave us the heeby jeebies. It was always ice cold and just made the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. There were these chains that hang from the ceiling with hooks on them and when we were daring (read as - fucked up enough) we would go down there and swing around on them.

There was another room off of the hallway at the bottom of the stairs. I never could figure out what exactly that room was for. It was carpeted so I figure they didn't do any work in that room. Maybe make-up and the like. This room was the creepiest by far. Even though it was at the same level as the hallway, which was also carpeted, the floor was always sopping wet. You would walk and the water (or blood depending on the hallucinogenic you were on at the time) would just gurgle and ooze everytime you took a step. You would walk back into the hallway and it would be dry even though the rug seemed like one piece. Very odd. Oh yeah. There was no electricity in the building so you had to go everywhere by candlelight or flashlight, especially in the basement since there were no windows down there. In this room there were some weird cubicle like closets that just had a ton of crap in them. I wish I could remember some of the things it had in it. They were just weird things that you wouldn't expect in that setting like dolls and shit. There was another room off of that room that was locked. I don't think we were ever able to get in there.

Now this place is a hispanic church. Everytime I drive past it and see people doing mass or whatever I always laugh and wonder what the hell they would think if they knew some of the crazy debauchery that used to happen in there.

I also haven't talked to Acid in quite a number of years. I honestly don't even know where he is living now. Before I could keep tabs on him since he was dating a friend of my girlfriend's. It's a shame, he was extremely important in forming my belief system and we had such great times. Every now and then I hope that I will run into him, but at the same time I really don't want to. I don't remember exactly what made us drift apart... maybe nothing. Probably just time. I also know from experience that you "can't go home again".